Today's post is a little different. In honor of my sweet mama's birthday, I am sharing five things I learned from her and one thing I wished I would have learned. I specifically say "learned" because these are specific things I learned by her life. These are not things she sat me down and told me how to do. These are things she taught me by her actions. People, especially children will learn by what we do, not what we say. I hope I can follow in her footsteps in teaching Hudson these important things about life and be half the mom she was. Hudson absolutely adores you, Mom! Happy Birthday, I love you!
1. Keep going. No matter what I am facing. I get up, get dressed, show up, and never give up. As I have mentioned in a previous blog post, my biological father walked out on us when I was younger. Without going into detail he was both physically and verbally abusive to my mom and put her through hell. Now that I am adult I realize the pain and heart ache that comes from a divorce. She was left with nothing and raising three small children all by herself. However, she got up every morning, put her make-up on, and did what she needed to do to provide for us children. Of course, she had hard times, but she didn't pitch a tent in the darkness that she was facing, she kept going at all costs. She didn't let her fears, doubts, and worries guide her. She kept going despite them. Remember, stars can't shine without darkness.
2. Quiet Strength. The kind of strength that is not seen by many. It is the kind of strength where you find yourself on the floor in the bathroom crying, but you have your "moment" put a smile on your face and keep going. It is the quiet strength that didn't let the circumstances she was facing define who she is or what she could do. She allowed the fire of pressing through, supporting her family, raising three children by herself, and being an example burn brighter inside her than the fire that surrounded her. There will always be seasons in life when have or will face great hardship, but it is what we do in those seasons that really pulls the character out of us and show us what we are made of.
3. Treat everyone with love, kindness, and respect. I never understood it at the time, but EVERYDAY, yes everyday, before I left the house for school my mom would tell me "be sweet." Most of the time I would just roll my eyes and be annoyed. We live in a world full of hate and unkindness. She wasn't going to let her kids contribute to that. But every time I heard her tell me that, those were seeds being planted in me (not saying I am kind all the time, because I have my moments like we all do). She taught me that no one was better than me and I was no better than anyone else. We treat everyone the same way we want to be treated, and even though we would encounter some bully's and buggers, we still had to be kind.
Another thing she taught me was a good work ethic. My mom did home day care to provide for her family so she could still be home with us kids. Most people would just treat it as a "babysitting" gig and put the kids in front of the television. But she did that job, even though it was not glamorous at all, with such grace and excellence! She went above and beyond was she "got paid" to do. I remember her telling me how to be grateful in the small beginnings.
In a way, I am so thankful everything wasn't handed to my brothers and I. We had everything and more and never went without. But, we learned how to work for our money and learn to pay our own bills as we got older. She taught me to be humble and be grateful for even the smallest things. Still to this day I have NEVER heard her say a bad or negative thing about ONE person. Now that is some serious discipline!
4. Be you. Because there is no one like me (you). She taught me that I had a lot to offer this world, because I have specific gifts and talents that no one else had. I worked in a high stress job for ten years where you would have thought it would have been problem free. I had a really hard time dealing with this and some people, like we are deal with in all work places. There were many times when I would call her in tears. One thing she would tell me was "Hannah you can't control what other people say or do you can only control you." There were so many times I would be so hard on myself, and if I was in the wrong, my mom had no problem putting me in my place. I had to be me and only work on me.
5. Believe in yourself, because anything and everything is possible. It is never over or too late. My mom had no financial support with three children, a mortgage, utilities, bills, food, clothing, etc...I'm sure there were times of complete fear and worry. Im sure there were times where there was more month than there was money. However, looking back I would have never known this. There wasn't alot of money, but we always had a pantry and fridge full of food, good clothes for school, and toys to last us for days. She decided to go back to school and get her degree. There was no extra money to pay for school, or where would she find the time to go to school with a full time job and three active children. She never let that or her age stop her. I watched her go to school several nights a week and still had dinner on the table..how she did it, I will never know! It may have taken her longer to get her degree, but she did and she graduated as valedictorian! I am now starting to cry! Just within a few short years she was promoted to a supervisor, and shortly after that she was promoted to the head of her department and overseeing surrounding cities. She let her desire for success be greater than her fear of failing. She took each day as it came and did her best in that day. Don't let what you are facing, your age, or your financial situation stop you for pursuing your dreams! And if there is a need for a "do over" there is always tomorrow.
She has the ultimate come back story!
And the one thing I wished how to learn from my mama
HOW TO COOK!
Ugh.....I honestly wish I was good and creative in the kitchen. I'm just not. My mom always tells me I better learn pretty soon, because I have a boy who will be a teenager and is going to want a mom that can cook....Guess I better hop on over to Pinterest! We all know there is nothing like our mama's cooking and I hope to be that one day for Hudson.
Thanks for reading along! Happy Friday!
XO
-Hannah
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